I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
