She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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