I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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