I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
