this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
