I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Pooping to opera.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
