Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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