Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I skipped work to stalk him.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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