I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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