Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
