Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
