I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
