Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
