Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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