I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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