How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
