just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
