I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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