ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
