Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
