Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
