Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
