maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Randomize
