What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
