We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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