a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
