dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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