Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
