We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
