youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Boobs speak an international language.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
