That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think I am morally bankrupt
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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