so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
