im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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