No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
