I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
