I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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