How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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