i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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