where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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