Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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