all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
