Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
