Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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