i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize