ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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