the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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