yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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