Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Someone signed my nipple.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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