we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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