How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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