The maid of honor just puked.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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