I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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