Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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