Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
