so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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