Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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