If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
now i know why i became what i already was.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
