Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
