the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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