Barsexuality is the new black.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
