God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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