I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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