I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
