Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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