Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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