he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
