Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
