She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
