i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I intend to get homeless drunk
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
